orkut funny scraps

HABIT never goes
if u remove H
A-BIT remains
If u remove A
BIT remains and
IF u remove B
It still remains.
So my habit of
scrapping u
will never go.




When I was a dog, and
your were a flower
I walked over you and
gave you a shower!!




Ladka shaadi se pehle
SPIDERMAN
Sagai k Samay
SUPERMAN
Shadi k Samay
GENTLEMAN
Shadi k 10 saal baad
WATCHMAN
Shadi k 20 saal baad
DOBERMAN.




Summer Resort-
A place where girls
try to get husbands
and husbands
try to get girls.




The difference between
marriage and death?
Dead people are
free atleast!




Why is a bachelor skinny
and a married man fat?
-The Bachelor comes
home, takes one look at
what's in the refrigerator,
and goes to bed.
-The Married man
comes home,takes one
look at what's in the bed
and goes to refrigerator!




The poor wish to be rich
the rich wish to be happy
the single wish to be
married
and the married
wish to be dead.




Which type of girls
wear transparent dresses?
The girls not having
any confidence on
imagination power
of a man !




Teacher to Bunty:
How old is your father?
Bunty:As old as I am
Teacher: How is that
possible?
Bunty: He became father
only after I was born.




There was a lover
who said that he would go
through hell for her.
They got married-now
he is going through hell !!




The average guy is
much more interested
in a girls Geography
than her History.




A Husband:
There are only two things
about me that my wife
doesnt care about-
(i)Everything I say and
(ii)Everything I do.




Bunty invested 2 lakh
in a business and suffered
a huge loss.
- Do you know
what was the business?
- He opened a
hair cutting saloon
in Punjab!!




Man 2 Chemist:
Mujhe White colour ka
condom dena?
Chemist:White kyon?
MAn:Meri Padosan ka
pati mar gaya hai
mujhe afsos
karne jana hai.




Why do women spend
so much time on
improving their LOOKS
and not their MIND?
Because they know that
men are STUPID
but not BLIND.




Angrez-Hamare yahan
80% shaadiyan
e-mail se hoti hain
Bunty- Kamaal hai!
hamare yahan
100% shaadiyan
female se hoti hain




I'll take bricks and write
"I MISS U" on them
and throw it on ur head
to make u feel,
how much it pains
when "I MISS U"




Cultural difference
between USA & India
In USA u can kiss at any
public place but
cant do SUSU.
In India u can SUSU
at any public place
but cant do KISS




A Judge fined a rapist
Rs. 10,800
When the man asked
why Rs. 10,800?
Judge replied-
10,000 for rape plus
8% entertainment tax.




A Sex expert was asked
whether rape is possible
while running?
No Chance!
Woman can run faster
with her skirt up than a
man with pants down.




Difference between
good girls & bad girls
Good girls open a
few buttons in
hot atmosphere, but
BAd girls open all buttons
to make the
atmosphere hot!




Father on the day of
graduation ceremony
of his son asks him-
What was the
hardest thing u learned
at College?
How to open
Beer bottles with teeth!




Who was the 1st Indian
woman 2 fly abroad?
********
********
********
Sitaji with Raavan.




Man goes 2 medical shop
Man-I need poison
Shopkeeper-I cant sell u
(MAn shows
his wife's Photo)
Shopkeeper- Oh! Sorry!
didnt know
u had a prescription!




For a Pepsi-
Shahrukh Khan,
4 a Fanta-
Rani Mukherjee,
4 a Coke- Aamir Khan,
4 a Thumps up-
Salman Khan,
Chinta mat kar Yaar
Kanche Waali bottle teri




The boy fell in love with
a girl at
second sight
because in first sight
he didnt know that
she was very rich




God made man and
then rested
God made woman and
then no one rested




Aim for the stars
but first aim for their
bodyguards




What is the
thinnest book in the
world?
What Men know
about Women




How Dogs and Women
are alike
Neither believe that
silence is golden
Neither can balance
a checkbook
Both put too much value
on kissing




What is the difference
betwwen a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a
positive side!




Hello I am a virus and
I am entering your brain
right now.....
sorry,
I will leave,
I cant find a brain!




One out of
four people is a Chinese
if your father,
your mother and
your brother are not
Chinese it must be you




This cat,is cat,a cat
good cat, way cat,
to cat, keep cat, a cat,
idiot cat, busy cat,
for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat!
Now read it all without the
word cat!




Those beautiful eyes,
that incredible body,
such a brain
a sexy mouth
nice smile....but that is
enough about me,
tell me how you are ?




Someday u may lose
ur hair
u may lose ur teeth
ur money & even lose
ur mind
but 1 thing u will
never loose is
ur good looks
coz u can't lose wat
u dont have !




If you delete this scrap
thats bcoz
u love me
if u save it thats bcoz
u desire me &
if u ignore it thats becoz
u miss me
so what u gonna do
with it?




Why do u think
I scrap u?
Is it because I care?
Or I miss u?
Or I love u ?
Or I need you?
No! its becoz
I need a person for just
TIME PASS




Niche jaao aur jito
PAISE HI PAISE
..........
or niche
..........
or niche
..........
YAKIN nahin aata
"TUM" paiso k liye
itna niche gir sakte ho




Great people talk
abt ideas,
average people talk
abt things
small people talk
abt other people
and the LEGENDS
never talk they just
send scraps like this!!!





College life is like Relience!!
*********************

" Karlo Duniya Mutthi Mein"
*********************

Bachelor Life is Like Airtel!!
*********************

" Aisi Azadi aur Kahan"
******************

After Engagement is Like Idea!!
*************************

" Jo Badal de aapki Zindgi"
********************

After Marrige is like Hutch!!
**********************

" Where U go.. network Follows"
*************************

After Kid is like BSNL!!
*****************

" All lines are Buzy"
==================================================================
Great people talk
abt ideas,
average people talk
abt things
small people talk
abt other people
and the LEGENDS
never talk they just
send scraps like this!!!
==================================================================
IT Companies Full Names...just don't miss it.... :-)

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM: Sad and Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM: Puzzled and Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee during Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash first and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd
==================================================================
Someday u may lose
ur hair
u may lose ur teeth
ur money & even lose
ur mind
but 1 thing u will
never loose is
ur good looks
coz u can't lose wat
u dont have !
==================================================================
If you delete this scrap
thats bcoz
u love me
if u save it thats bcoz
u desire me &
if u ignore it thats becoz
u miss me
so what u gonna do
with it?
==================================================================
--------------Girls-------------------
-----------are like apples------------
-------on trees. The best ones--------
-----are at the top of the tree.------
---The boys dont want to reach--------
--for the good ones because they------
-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.
-Instead, they get the rotten apples--
from the ground that arent as good, --
but easy. So the apples up top think--
something wrong with them when in-----
-reality they're amazing. They just---
---have to wait for the right boy to--
---- come along, the one who's--------
----------- brave enough to-----------
---------------climb all--------------
---------------the way----------------
--------------to the top--------------
-------------of the tree--------------
==================================================================
On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.





Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"





James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style,


"......James Bond."





Then Bond asks: "And you?"





Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...





Siva Rao...





Samba Siva Rao...





Venkata Samba Siva Rao...





Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...





Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...





Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...





Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."





Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James Bond"









WANT















A KISS











FRM U












BUT!!!!













DO U KNOW
KISS MEAN




















K-KOI

I-INTRESTING

S-SCRAPS

S-SEND KERO











SO KISS ME ANY TIME.
==================================================================
Enter name: ..........

Searching...............

Downloading data......

Please wait!

5%
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75%
90%
95%
98%
Done.....

Information :
Gorgeous
Alluring
Attractive
Appealing
Sweet
Good-looking
Charming
Glamorous
Beautiful
Eye-catching
Smart
Striking
Fascinating
Beautiful
Bubbly
Sparkling
Full of life
Shining
Vivacious
Energetic
Head turner
Humorous
Smart
Witty
Funny
Stunning
Lovely
Superb
Exquisite
Fabulous
Excellent
Fantastic
Outstanding
Exceptional
Terrific
Wonderful
Glittering
Tempting
Persuasive
Influential
Credible
Likeable
Attention-grabbing
Impressive
Sparkling
Remarkable
Marvelous
Prominent
Pleasing
Extraordinary
Congenial
Friendly
Good-natured
Great
Amazing
Tremendous
Elegant
Fashionable
Well-groomed
Stylish
Neat
Grace

disk space full please empty disk and try again.............





Go 2 hell!!!
Just Go To Hell !!
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Yes You !
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U Only !!
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I Just Thought Of It....
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Because Only You Can Change Hell Into Heaven By Your SweetNess!!!!!!
==================================================================
----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

----- -----

Kuch Nahin ... ...
Mere SCRAP Ko Aap Ki SCRAPBOOK Se Pyar Ho Gaya Hai.
Isi Liye LINE Maar Raha Hai.
==================================================================
HEADLINES DATED 1ST JAN 2023:

1. President Sonia Gandhi and prime minister Priyanka Gandhi receive Italy prime minister Rahul Gandhi.

2. Dhoom 17 ready for release.

3. I will play next world cup - Sachin Tendulkar

4. Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya's 3rd marriage .

5. Abhi toh Mein jawan hoon - Dev Anand.

6. Petrol Rs.999 / litre (Bata price).

7. Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi completed 2,50,000 episodes & Baa has completed 400yrs.

8. Coach Ganguly resigns, as India is knocked out of World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea

9. Siddhu launches his own TV channal where he can speak and laugh for the whole day.

10. After giving 49 flop movie in a row himesh reshamiya is coming in hollywood romantic movie sequel titanic 3.







Bruce Lee's Profile

1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee

2. Favourite Lunch
* Tha Lee

3. What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee

4. Bruce Lee“s sister-in-law“s name?
* Saa Lee

5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee

6. Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee

7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee

8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee

9. Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee

10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee

11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee

12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee

13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee

14. Favori te Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee

15. Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee

16. Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee

17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee

18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee

Maaro
* Taa LEE
==================================================================
Why INDIA is in trouble?

Population: 100 crore.

9 crore retired

30 crore in state Govt and 17 crore in central Govt (Both Categoy dont work)

1 crore I.T professional (dont work for India)

25 crore in school

1 crore r under 5 years

15 crore unemployed

1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals

statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail

Rest two are U & ME.

U r busy alwayzzzzzz busy with "Orkuting"/''checking Mails"..!!

HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone???
==================================================================

Please
give me a KiSS
'
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'

'
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'
shoked???

ha ek jakas kiss




daro mat





kiss mean's




























































k > koi

i > intresting

s > scrap

s> send karo na ?????











God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
==================================================================
Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.
===================================================================
The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful

why doesn't it rain on you?
==================================================================
Roses are red, Violets are blue

monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

not in cage but laughing at you
==================================================================
BILL GATES START MAKING FILMS IN BOLLYWOOD, NAMES OF HIS WOULD BE FILMS
1 Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
3. Aao Chat Kare
4. Programmer No.1
5. Mera Naam Developer
6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein
8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal
9. Tera Code Chal Gaya
10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega
11. Network Ke Us Paar
12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai
14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE .!
15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari
16. Login Karo Sajana
17. Naukar PC Ka
18. 1942 -- A Bug Story
19. Kaho Na Virus Hai
20. Crash Se Crash Tak
21. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
22. Password De Ke Dekho
23. Terminal Apna Login Paray
==================================================================
I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU


I LOVE YOU

ILOVE YOU "RASNA"
NOW AVAILABLE AT RS 5 ONLY
TIN TIN TIDIN...........!
==================================================================
Life before marriage is AIRTEL
" u can express ur self ".

During honeymoon is RELIANCE-
" Always get in Touch ".

After Honeymoon is HUTCH
" Wherever u go ur wife network follows".

After one year Life is IDEA
" ur wife can change ur life ".

After 10 years Life is BSNL
" Subscriber is not reachable "?????????
==================================================================
I like 3 things...........................

Pizza...************************


Pepsi...****************


& you...*************************


↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓


Pizza to eat...***********


Pepsi to drink...***************




& you to clean the table.
Hahaha...
==================================================================
Why do u think
I scrap u?
Is it because I care?
Or I miss u?
Or I love u ?
Or I need you?
No! its becoz
I need a person for just
TIME PASS
==================================================================
Hello I am a virus and
I am entering your brain
right now.....
sorry,
I will leave,
I cant find a brain!
==================================================================
Actually
seriuously
practically
really
typically
sincerely
jokingly
essentially
interestingly
obviously
i want to disturb u !!!



.................................................................
.................................................................

***** VACANCY*****

POST:

True Friend
ELIGIBILITY:

Loving & Caring

DUTY:

To Love

EXPERIENCE:

Not Required

SALARY:

Never Ending Love

JOINING:
Immediately

” R U INTERESTED? ”
==================================================================

This cat,is cat,a cat
good cat, way cat,
to cat, keep cat, a cat,
idiot cat, busy cat,
for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat!
Now read it all without the
word cat!
==================================================================
Please Clean My car
Here is the car……..
……………………—–;–,
……………___/_,{)..|__;.__
…………/…_………….:……_..
\
………..’–(_)————(_)—’
==================================================================
Those beautiful eyes,
that incredible body,
such a brain
a sexy mouth
nice smile....but that is
enough about me,
tell me how you are ?
==================================================================
Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And

Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"



Socho

|

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|

|

|

|







|

|

|

|

|

|

|

Thoda sur Socho

|

|

|

|

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|

Socho Socho....

|

|

|

|

|

|





Nahi Aata



|

|

|

|

|

|

|



B

C

o

z



















Indian wives call their husband "A g" sunte ho

( Scientific Symbol for Silver is A g)

American wives call their husband "A u" listen up

( Scientific Symbol for Gold is A u)

..........................................................
............................................................

Can u do me a favour

SMOKE rEguLarLy!

Who the Hell said it was BaD for HealtH..

SMOKE mean!

S = SeNd

M = Me

O = One

K = Kool scRap

E = Every day
==================================================================
Hi..
I’M_Dying’2′C”U
I_Wnt’2′Meet”U
I_Wnt’2′Tlk”2″U
Seriously.But
Wat 2 Doi?This
Stupid
GateKeeper
Is’Asking Me 4
Ticket 2 Enter In
ZOO
==================================================================
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\

.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\





.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\




.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\



.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\







.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\








.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\






.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\






.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\





.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\

.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\





.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\




.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\


.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\






.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\








.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\






.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\






.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\





.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\

.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\





.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\




.\_/
\(")/
-(_)
/(_)\

JO SCRAP nahin karte, unki scrap book main keede pad jate hai!!!

....................................................................
......................................................................

Liars go to hell

When u feel sad……………

To cheer up just go to mirror & say…….

damn I m really so cute u will over come ur sadness .

But dont make this a habit………….

Coz liars go to hell…..
==================================================================

The boy fell in love with
a girl at
second sight
because in first sight
he didnt know that
she was very rich
==================================================================
keep scraping otherwise........Boom

keep scraping otherwise
……,-.______________,=========,
……[|..)_____________)#######((_
……/===============..-..___,–”.._\
…..”-._,__,__[ BooM ]____\.########/
………………….\…(…).)…).#### O##(
……………………\..\____/,..#######\
…………………….`====”….\#######\
…………………………………….\#######\
………………………………………)##O####|
………………………………………)..####__,”
……………………………………….`..–.”.”
==================================================================
Sardar Joke - Talking to Biwi

SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....

2ND: itne... pyar se....?

1ST: tumhari hai. . .
==================================================================
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away

sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &
said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
==================================================================
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.


1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.


2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.


3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.


4.Threat:When I am on tour
==================================================================
Why Students Fail In Examz

It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails b/c the year has an only 365 days.

Typical academic year for a student.

52 Sundays in a year which are rest days.
Balance 313 days.

Summer holidays 50 where weather is too hot & difficult to study
Balance 263 days

8hrs daily sleep means 122 days.
Balance 141 days

1 hr for daily playing (good for health) means15 days.
Balance 126 days.

2hrs daily 1 for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat) means 30 days.
Balance 96 days.

1hr for talking (human is a social animal) means
15 days.

Balance 81 days.

Exam days per year at least 35 days.
Balance46 days

Quarterly, half yearly & festival holidays means 40 days.
Balance 6 days.

For sickness at least 3 days.
Balance 3 days.
=================================================================
SMOKE alteast 10 times every day......

hey wait SMOKE means....


S - Scrap
M - Me
O - One
K - Kool Message
E - Everyday

so Plz kindly SMOKE.

Request: Try 2 b a chain smoker..........
==================================================================
"Today is Tuesday."--------->
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
Send this message to 7 people and believe me, you will find another Tuesday exactly after 7 days.. !!! Believe me, it works.. !!!
==================================================================
Who was the 1st Indian
woman 2 fly abroad?
********
********
********
Sitaji with Raavan.
==================================================================
Man goes 2 medical shop
Man-I need poison
Shopkeeper-I cant sell u
(MAn shows
his wife's Photo)
Shopkeeper- Oh! Sorry!
didnt know
u had a prescription!
==================================================================
I read ur profile (timepass karna tha)....

found it quite interesting (maskaa maar raha hoon)....

u lookin good in this pic(yaar ab jhooth bhi bolna pad raha hai iske liye)....

will u like to b my frnd plzz (chalo aap nahi to koi aur mil jaayegi aapki frndlist mein)....

i hope u wont mind me adding u (plz bhaav mat khana, add me )....

just check out my profile (kuchh likha nahi waise maine)...

u'l find we hav lots of things common (aapki profile padh ke hi add ki hai maine)...

bye n take care ( mere bolne se jaise firk pad jaayega )

hahahaaaa just kidding , plz dont mind.....



hi.....
i understand u didnt want to add me but now u should rethink
.................................................................
...............................................................


No Study = Fail ………………….. ( I )

Study = No Fail ………………………. ( II )

By Combining ( I ) & ( II ) :

=====> ( No Study + Study ) = ( No Fail + Fail )

By Taking ( Study ) as a common factor in the left hand side

And Taking ( Fail ) as a common factor in the right hand side

=====> Study ( No + 1) = Fail (No + 1 )

By Dividing both sides by ( No + 1)

=====> Study = Fail

SO I ADVISE YOU TO STOP STUDYING
==================================================================
Anti-body - - Against everyone

Artery — The study of fine paintings

Bacteria — The back door of a cafeteria

Barium — What you do after CPR fails

Benign — What you are after you be eight and before you be ten

Cardiac arrest — Taken into custody after stealing a coupe Deville

CAT Scan — Searching for the kitty Cardiology

Advance — study of poker playing

Cauterize — To make eye contact with a woman

Cesarean section — A district in Rome Charlie

Horse — A 10 to 1 long shot in the Kentucky Derby

Colic — A sheep dog

Coma — A punctuation mark Congenital - Friendly

D&C — Where Washington is

Dilate — To live long Enema — Not a friend

Fibula — A small white lie

G.I. Series — A baseball game between teams of soldiers

Genes — What you wear cutting grass

Hangnail — A coat hook

Impotent - Distinguished, well known

Labor pain — Getting hurt at work

Medical staff — A doctor s cane

Morbid — A higher offer

Nitrates — Cheaper than the day rate

Node — Movement of head meaning yes

Organic — An organ work repairman

Paralyze — Two far fetched stories

Pharmacist — A person who makes living in agriculture

Phobopohobia — Fear of phobias, or fear itself

Pelvis — A cousin of Elvis

Post-operative — A letter carrier

Protein — In favor of young people

Rectum — Dang near killed em

Scalpel — What you stand on to clean windows in high rise buildings

Secretion — Hiding something

Seizure — A Roman emperor

Tablet — A small table

Terminal illness — Getting sick at the airport

Thalassotherophy — Fear of the sea Tumor — An extra pair

Urine — The opposite of “you are out

Vein - Conceited

Varicose - Nearby

Xenophobia — fear of strangers or foreigners.
==================================================================

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... NOKIA!
Connecting People!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... SAMSUNG
Every One Is Invited!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... CHEN ONE
Changing Life Style!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... PHILIPS
Lets Makes Things Better!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... TAPAL
Jaisay Chaho Jeoooo!

Fri3nd$h!p is Like... SPRITE
Sirf Yeh Bhujaye Pyas Baki All Bakwass!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... PEPSI
Ask For More!

Fri3nd$h!p is Like... LG
Digitally Yours!

Fri3nd$h!p is Like... NIKE
Just Do It!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... HABIB
Kyoun Kay Ye Dil Ka Mamla Hai!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... WAVES
Naam Hi Kafi Hai!

Fri3nd$h!pIs Like... BUTTER SCOTCH(hmmm)
Chalti Jayee Chalti Jayee Chali Jayeeeee!

Fri3nd$h!p Is Like... COCA COLA
Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
==================================================================
Sardar declares:

.. . . I will never marry in my life &. . .

.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . .
==================================================================
You r my friend HONA.
I don`t want u to KHONA.
But I want place in your heart`s KONA
& the otherwise
I will start RONA .
Jaldi scrap karona oh mera SONA.
==================================================================
5 Shocking Facts of the World……. …….
………… .
………..
Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue;
…
…
…
…
…
…
Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
Fact 3: Fact1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha …..
…
…
…
…
Fact 4: Now u are laughing !!! bcoz u became a fool !!!
…
…
…
…
…
…
Fact 5: you want to fool ur friends also.. so u will forward this soon
==================================================================
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top !!!
==================================================================
im at the police station.
The police caught me & filed a case against me
“possession of good looks”.
i’m doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up! wishorkut.com
A scrap from wishorkut.com
==================================================================
Please remind me to remind you about
reminding me to send you this reminder
that reminds me of reminding you that I
AM THERE FOR YOU. Don’t forget.
............................................
.....................................................................


Smiling is the

second best

thing you can do

with your lips..

Of course, the first best thing

is..

Keeping them

shut !
==================================================================
God made man and

then rested

God made woman and

then no one rested

==================================================================
What is the

thinnest book in the

world?

What Men know

about Women
==================================================================
1) what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz....
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..

3) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan

4) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

5) wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan

6) n elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dat bahar hai**

7)ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..

8) Full form of MATHS????
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…

9) what wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina
==================================================================
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman,
you must love her a lot and not try understand her at all.


MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistake
==================================================================
Computer Vs. Hindi Films

1) Pentium III & Pentium I ---- Bade miyan - Chhote miyan.

2) Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hitha.

3) Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.

4)F1 - Guide.

5) Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.

6) Ctrl+Alt+Del - AkhriRastaa.

7) CrtlC + CtrlV - Duplicate.

8) Undo - Aa ab lautchale.

9) Super User Password - Gupt.

10) BackUp - Jaagteraho.

11) UPS - Janta Hawaldar.

12) Server -Godfather.\ SARKAR...

13) Proxy Server - Padosan.

14) Security -Nakabandi.

15) Storage - Tehkhana.

16) Storage capacity -Badhti ka naam Dadhi.

17) Computer without RAM - KoraKagaz.

18) Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.

19)System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.

20) DumbTerminal - Anari.

21) Mouse - Jaanwar.

22) Hard Disk partition- Batwara.

23) Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.

24)Tempo rary file - Khote Sikkey.

25) Operator vs Computer - Mein khiladi Tu Anaddi
==================================================================

Why do students fail in exams...?
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.. Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days. 1 day left.

11. That 1 day is ur birthday. How can you study on your B'day??
Balance = 0 "How can a student pass?
.,...................................................................
......................................................................



ye
be
she
dee
yee
yef
gee
hech
aayi
jay
kay
yell
yem
yen
wo
pee
kyu
aar
yes
tea
you
we
dablu
yex
why
jhed
DA INDIAN ABC.....
==================================================================
What is B.E?

8 semesters are there
80GB syllabus
80MB we study
80KB we remember
80 Bytes we answer
BINARY marks we get
The Degree finally we get is B.E.
That is Brain Empty (B.E)
==================================================================
Movies Related to College Life

Exam == Kalyug,
Classes == Kabhi Kabhi
Viva == Encounter
Examination Hall == Chamber of Secret
Examiner == Mrityudata
Course == GodZilla
Paper Correction == Andha Kanoon
Exam Time == Qayamat se Qayamat Tak
Question Paper == Paheli
Answer Paper == Kora Kagaz
Marks == Ashambhav
Paper Out == Plan
Cheating == Aksar
Last Exam == Independence Day
Result == Sadma
Pass == Ajooba / Chamatkar
Fail == Devdas
Vacations == Masti
Supplementary == Aakhri Rasta
==================================================================
Poems written by husband to wife






I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. then

I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.
==================================================================
Jungle attendance,



Tiger
Present sir,




Rabbit
Present sir,




Lion
Present sir,




Monkey



Monkey



Monkey



SCRAP phir padh lena
warna absent lag jayegi
==================================================================
Career Song - The 8 stages

1. when in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek
din.....

2. when giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi
re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

3. waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa
kuch khabar mere yaarki...

4. just joined: Too cheez bhadi hai mast mast.....

5. after some time: Ye kahaan aagaye hum??

6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, mere
jindagi kya ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)

7. floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja...
pehele pyar ki peheli chitti...

8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer: Jeena yehaan,
marna yehaan iske si wa jaana kahaan.........
==================================================================
.......°===.........===°
..................\...../.
............._,-=\../=-._.
............/...../¯¯¯¯\...\.
...........|..../............\..\.
...........|....|....O O..|..|.
...........\.....`....--..´../.
............\....`-.._..-´./.
..............`-....._...-'.
'.....................| |.
..............._,-=/.\=-._ ... \¯).***"
.............//...............\\....(..).
............/|.................|)_..'/.
...........//|.................|\_.".
..........(|.|.................|.
..........||..\.............../.
..........||....":_...._.;".
....(_¯_"/....//".-."\\.***
................//..........\\.
...............||............||.
...............||............||.
...............||............||.
........,.-._(. )..........(. )_.-.
......(__-.__/..........\__.-__).
==================================================================
Email id's of cricketers

1.LAXMAN:
available@home-only.com


2.GANGULY:
nowdays@no_use.com


3.KUMBLE:
only@test_match.com


4.SACHIN:
admitted@hospital.com


5.KAIF:
good@for_nothing.com


6.SEHWAG:
consistently@out_of_form.com


7.DRAVID:
stick@crease_like_fevicol.com


8.PATHAN:
takewickets@only_with_keyna.com


9. GREG CHAPPELL
only_experiment@noresult.com


10. Munaf Patel
only_line&length@nospeed.com


11.Harbhajan Singh
no_spinpitch@nowicket.com


12. Suresh Raina
why_i_am_there@god_knows.com

................................................................
..............................................................


scrap nichee hai









aur nechee,











aur nechee
























aur nechee,













aur nechee,


















hey, aur nechee..



















aur nechee..















tum ek scrap ke liye itna nechee tak gir sakte the woh mujhe pata nahin tha..

hahahahahahahahhhhaahahah!!!
==================================================================
Universal law:


Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from
one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.



First law:


A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy.



Second law:


The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the
direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance.



Third law:


The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.
==================================================================
Ur Great
Ur Outstanding
Ur Realistic
Ur Intelligent
Ur Lovable
Ur Lucky
Ur Adorable
In short ur a GORILLA.Just for fun .
==================================================================
What is height of Fashion?
A. Dhoti with a zip

2. What is height of Secrecy?
A. Offering blank visiting cards.

3. What is height of Activelaziness?
A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

5. What is height of Craziness?
A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?
A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?
A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

9. What is height of Suicide?
A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?
A. A cow giving milk powder
===========================================================================


Who said english is easy???
Fill in the blank with YES or No...

1.-----I dont have brain...
2.-----I dont have sense...
3.-----I am stupid..
==================================================================
a brand new love story...in theaters this march



STARRING----
George W Bush..
Condeliza RiCe..
Tony Blair..
Pamela Anderson..

SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE-----
Bil Clinton..

AND INTRODUCING VILLAIN----
Bin Laden..

MUSIC BY----
Gen. Parvez Reshamiya

ITEM NUMBER BY----
Monica Levinsky


KABHI AL-KHAEDA NA KEHNA-(a bomb that broke all relations!)

CASSETTES ND CD'S ONLY ON "AL-jazeera"
FEATURING ALL NEW HITS LIKE--
'Lets go blasting tonight..
==================================================================
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar Ke khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X'mas mei bhii khane padenge apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaroor dil bhar gaya hoga khake itne saare apple
==================================================================
I had many options...
POISON,
ELECTROCUTION,
SLEEPING PILLS,
HANGING BY NECK,
COMING UNDER TRAIN,
JUMPING FROM A HEIGHT,

But...
I chose Education!!!
==================================================================
DO INDIANS WORK????
TOTAL POPULATION 100 crore
But19 crore retired
That leaves 81 crores do the work
There are 25 crores in school
Which leaves 56 crores to do the work
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Govt
Leaving 34 crores to do the work
4 crores are in the Armed Forces
Which leaves 30 crores to do the work
20 crores people work For State Governments
& State Government employees officially do not work!
That leaves 10 crores to do the work
Total unemployed are 8 crores
And that leaves 2 crores to do the work
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals
Leaving 80 lakhs to do the work
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are 79,99,998
people in
prisons throughout the country
That leaves just 2 people to do the work..
You and me!!!
And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading scraps
So I am the only person in our country who is
working! And that's why India is surviving

U SHUD BE PROUD OF ME
==================================================================

*** Flirt with Freaky Boys ***
!!! ||Girls Psychology|| !!!

*** Fraud with Innocent Boys ***

*** Fun with Handsome Boys ***

*** Friendship with Charming Boys ***

*** Contact with Intelligent Boys ***

*** Flirt with Freaky Boys ***

*** Love with Faithful Boys ***

& in the end

*** Marriage with the Rich Boy ***

!!! Moral of the story !!!

Chandramukhi ho yaa Paaro, Sab Ek jaisi hai Yaaro !

==================================================================
READ iT cAR3fULLy


THIS IS A CRIME STORY


5 FRNDS LIVED IN A ROOM
NAMELY
MAD,BRAIN,FOOL,NOBODY AND SOMEBODY...

ONE DAY SOMEBODY KILLED NOBODY.
AT THE TIME BRAIN WAS iN BATHrOoM,
FOOL PLAYING WID COMPUTER.
MAD CALLED POLICE
MAD:IZ IT POLICE STATION
POLICE:YES WHT Iz MATTER????
MaD: SOMEBODY KILLED NOBODY...
POLICE: R U MAD?
MAD: YES IM MAD HOWZ DO YOU knOw???
POLICE:DONT YOU HAVE BRAIN?
MAD: BRAIN iz iN BATHROOM...
POLICE:YOU FOOL..
MAD:NO FOOL IZ READING THIS SCRAP
==================================================================
Thi
This
This i
This is
This is t
This is th
This is the
This is the b
This is the be
This is the bes
This is the best
This is the best w
This is the best wa
This is the best way
This is the best way t
This is the best way to
This is the best way to f
This is the best way to fi
This is the best way to fil
This is the best way to fill a
This is the best way to fill an
This is the best way to fill any
This is the best way to fill anyb
This is the best way to fill anybo
This is the best way to fill anybod
This is the best way to fill anybody
This is the best way to fill anybody'
This is the best way to fill anybody's
This is the best way to fill anybody's s
This is the best way to fill anybody's sc
This is the best way to fill anybody's scr
This is the best way to fill anybody's scra
This is the best way to fill anybody's scrap
This is the best way to fill anybody's scrapb
This is the best way to fill anybody's scrapbook



.............................................................................
.............................................................................


Go down 2 C my heart...








































Dekha
Kitna saaf hai mera DIL
==================================================================
Courses offered BY TERROR OUTFITS :-

JEE - Jehadic Entrance Examination

IIT - Intimating Institute of Terrorism

IIM - Institute of Infiltration Management

CAT - Career in Alqaida & Taliban

IAS - Iraq after Saddam

M Tech - Masters in Terror Technology

GATE - General Aptitude in Terror and Extremism

TOEFL - Test of Extremist Foreign Languages

GRE - Graduate in Relocation Extremism

MBBS - Master of Bomb Blasting Strategies

MBA - Master of Bombing Administration
==================================================================
A


B


C


D


E



F




G




H





I



J



K



L


M



N



O



P



Q


R



S


T



U



V


W


X


Y



Z



1



2



3



4



5


6


7


8


9



0



!



@



#



$



%





^





&




*




(




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_





+





|




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< . . , / ? ; ' : " thank God all keys r working sorry to disturb u .....
=============================================================================